A few weeks ago, I was watching a college basketball game. At half time, I found myself looking through a variety of articles that popped up on my phone. An article on feedback caught my eye. As I read it, I was surprised to discover that of the numerous points the article offered, hardly any of them offered the reader any concrete steps or skills that a person could implement to improve the quality of the feedback they give.
As a personal challenge, I grabbed a pen and started scribbling the points that would be most helpful for anyone who wants to improve the quality of their feedback. Rather than view these points as stand-alone principles, consider each of these concepts as part of the process for improving the way you provide feedback to others.
1. Clarify your intent. Take a moment and ask yourself, “What is my purpose for holding this conversation?” If you are not specific about what you would like to change or improve, your communication will likely not be as clear as you need it to be. Vague directions usually do not translate into desired results. Clarifying your intent is an important step in holding any crucial conversation.
2. Check your emotions. If you are feeling angry or frustrated with the person you need to speak to, you should not hold the conversation until your emotion is substantially reduced. If you push forward and try to hold the conversation anyway, your emotions will color your interaction likely resulting in an undesirable outcome. High emotions usually force people to shut down, get defensive, or to meet emotion with more emotion causing a breakdown in communication.
To assess the reasoning behind your emotions, try finishing the sentence: “I am (state the emotion) because….” Finish the sentence as many times and as quickly as you can. Doing so will help you to discover the thoughts that are driving your feelings. Once you can determine the reasons for your emotions, you can be more objective in how you structure your conversation.
3. Identify the facts. Any time you give feedback, it is important to outline examples of behaviors, levels of performance, and the ensuing consequences in a factual and unemotional way. This will help the person more objectively understand the impact and outcomes of their behaviors. This will necessitate some advance preparation on your part to identify the facts in a situation. Making the time to adequately prepare will lay the foundation for a more successful outcome.
4. Get specific. There is nothing worse than telling a person that their performance was less than satisfactory without facts that support your statement. Not being specific will put people on the defensive and will shut down any productive dialogue you might have had. Notice the difference between these two feedback statements: “Your presentation was terrible,” versus, “Your presentation could have been more focused and effective by using an agenda, offering a step-by-step handout, and using a PowerPoint presentation to stay on track.” The first example is vague and feels like a personal attack while the second example offers specifics in an objective way that can help the person improve their performance.
5. Explore the person’s thought process. This is done by asking fact-seeking questions. Here are a few examples:
Taking the time to explore a person’s thinking will help you to understand how to support them in improving their results.
6. Focus on process, not the person. Never use your feedback to attack a person. Try avoiding the use of the word “you” which may make your feedback feel like an accusation. For example, instead of saying, “Why did you do that?” you might say, “I noticed that this decision did not lead to the desired outcome. Let’s explore together what could be done to achieve the desired outcome.” Notice the focus is on the decision, the outcome, and focused future results. Focusing on the process takes discipline, especially if your natural reaction is to assign blame to people and their behavior.
7. Be proximity focused. It is not uncommon for people to delay giving feedback. It is important to provide feedback as close as possible to the time when an event occurred, not in a review at the end of the year. The sooner the feedback is given, the less the likelihood that a mistake will occur again. And conversely, the sooner positive feedback is provided, the more likely the desired behavior will be reinforced and repeated. People generally want to do the work that they are expected to do in the best way they can. When you provide timely feedback, people very much appreciate your input about what they have done and will work to meet your expectations.
8. Provide both positive and constructive feedback. If the only time you give feedback is when something has gone wrong and you say, “We need to talk,” people will assume the worst and do everything they can to avoid being candid. Look for opportunities to recognize what people are doing right. Once you catch someone doing the right thing or doing exceptional work, tell them of your appreciation. Lead with the facts of what they did, the impact of their behavior, and then express your sincere gratitude for their effort.
9. Make it private and be time sensitive. If the feedback you want to give is focused on ways they need to improve, provide that feedback one-on-one and not in front of others. Allow ample time to explore the issue, ask questions, and answer any questions that the person may have. Rushing the feedback comes off as a lack of concern for the individual. Plan the time to make the experience as positive as possible.
10. Create a culture of candor. When new people come onto your team, you can set communication parameters by establishing a candor contract. A candor contract has three parts: the purpose, the request, and the promise. It might sound something like this.
As the team lead, I want you to be able to be truthful and honest about what is working and not working. I want to encourage a culture of candor for our team (purpose).Consequently, I want each of us to feel comfortable providing feedback about anything that contributes to our success or gets in the way. I would expect you to do the same for me (request).I promise that I will not become emotional and that I will ask questions and listen before I add my perspective (promise). Are you comfortable with that?
Establishing feedback parameters will set the standard to allow you to hold the types of conversations you need to hold before it becomes a crisis.
11. Solicit feedback. If you are going to give others feedback, then you should solicit feedback from others about your performance. Be sure to listen for examples; ask for them if you don’t hear specifically what could be improved. Once you have heard and understood what has been said, be sure to thank the person who gave you the feedback. You might also want to set a time to follow up if there is something that you commit to do or improve.
12. Offer support. If you give a person feedback and they will be attempting something new or different, be sure to offer encouragement and support. You might ask them if there is anything they need from you. Be sure to tell them that you believe in them and their abilities to make the needed improvements in order to be successful. It may also be helpful to check in from time to time to see how things are going and if they need any additional support.
13. Check for clarity. After providing feedback, it is helpful to summarize your conversation. You might also invite the other person to restate what you are asking them to do. If there are discrepancies in your understanding of the conversation and what they will be working on, don’t hesitate to clarify your request.
14. Thank them. There is far too little appreciation and gratitude expressed these days. Thank the team member for their time and for considering your feedback. Thank them for their contributions as part of your team. Sharing heart-felt, sincere appreciation will go a long way toward building trust and loyalty between you and your team members.
When working with others, there is ample opportunity to provide feedback. Any time we ask others to do something, there is always the risk that we may be misinterpreted. Taking the time to incorporate the concepts above will help you to provide feedback more effectively while building respect, achieving positive results, and minimizing misunderstandings.
